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It's been exactly one week since we were seperated. I miss you. How are you doing? What's on your mind lately? Do you miss me? I have so many questions I want to ask you, but since MD decided that we should keep an extreme distance from eachother for three years, those questions will have to wait.

I hope your week was good, because mine wasn't all that bad. The first three days were the hardest. It was like everyday I was being crushed, and I would wake up every morning dissappointed that it wasn't all just a bad dream, and that I wouldn't find good morning texts or calls from you anymore. I cried everyday, especially when I read the texts that I was supposed to delete. I would look for you on facebook to see how you're doing, knowing I wouldn't find you there anymore. I asked God why so many times. But at the same time, it was more painful because it was our fault for everything that was happening, and that we were only paying for the consequences. L explained to me that everything is for the best, even though it's hard right now and not easy to understand, that everything's in the long run, and it'll all be worth it in the end if we stay faithful to God. L's words, and God being with me gave me courage to stand back up again and keep on going. I'm okay now, I promise. Though things always don't go how I plan and it sucks sometimes, in the end, God keeps his promises, and it's all so worth it, so I'll be okay :)

I've decided to start this blog, to keep me busy besides school and to keep track of the next three years, i guess. And so that, in some way, I feel like I'm talking to you. First of all, good job! You said in one of your last texts that you might end up trying to txt or call me in like three days lol. But you didn't! So otsukaresama :) I really miss you though. I was with C and we saw you and Mr. D running together yesterday at church, it was really funny lol what were you guys even doing?? haha. Also, I'm sorry if you saw me cry yesterday, it's not what you think. 

I know that everything is for the best, and that God is in control, and he's doing it for us because he knows what's best, and most of all, because he loves us. It sucks that we're not allowed to talk, text, skype, fb, or see eachother for three, it really does. But because of everything that has happened, a lot of good things happened too. I made up with Miss A and L once and for all, and they're both some of my very closest friends now. I'm pretty sure I have a better relationship with MD now, atleast I think. I haven't fought with them in a while, that's always good, right? I'm back on walking with God and because I went through this it reminded me that God is and will always be my number one. It's been a week and I'm able to smile and laugh now, and I'm finally able to listen to music again. But are you? Please know that I'm not smiling and laughing because I forgot you and the times we spent together, but because God helped me overcome the fears and pain. And I know for a fact that you can too, so don't give up! Because it's just the beginning