Today I finally cleaned my room, and I can say that my room is beautiful. Literally. Cleaned up all my clothes, vacuumed, everything. I feel so accomplished and now I can fully enjoy and relax in my own space. The weather was pretty crummy with a little bit of rain, and cloudy all day, but I didn't pay much attention to it today so it didnt affect my day too much. It's my first weekend without barely any hw, and I used it up cleaning my room and babysitting...
But today is daylight savings, which means we turn it back an hour, so we gain an hour. The only time of year we can turn back time. I'm not sure if that's literal, but in a way, I think so. But time is so scary. It's not possible to turn it back, or do things over again. It's scary to think how you can't even take back 1/10 of a second. Once it's gone, it's gone forever. Which makes me really think about life. Even though it sounds super cliche and corny, when you really think about it, you only get one shot at life, and to think how short that life is, you really can't afford to waste time. Sure we get 80-90 years, but when it's over, what are YOU going to think back on and remember? What did you live your life for? Regrets?
Today was actually a good day too. The weather wasn't all that amazing, but I didn't sleep in my classes today (a little bit in Bible), pretty sure I got a good score on my math test, I have no homework over the weekend:), and I came home a little early today. I would say it's a pretty good day :) Just a little bored, and sleepy I guess. But it feels so weird that I don't have any schoolwork to do. It makes me a little nervous on the other hand because I feel like I do have something, I just don't know it, and then I'll get marked off for turning it in late.. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I should just enjoy my little time of freedom that I have for now.
I can't believe its already been four days since halloween. Time is sure going by fast. Atleast for me it is since I have school and other things to keep me busy. Two years will be a flash, I know it!
Wow its been so long. More than two months have gone by already. Crazy. The months have changed and now we are in November. The weather's changed too from warm and sunny, to sometimes rainy sometimes sunny but chilly. This morning was so perfect with extreme fogginess, but blue skies and sunshine peaking out of the mist assuring that it was going to be a sunny day. The leaves are changing colors and falling to the ground making very picturesque scenes everywhere you go. I can't even begin to explain how beautiful the sky is right now, and wish you could be here to watch it with me. I miss you so much. How are you?
How was your day? Mine was a really good day. Honestly, I actually don't remember why it was or anything that made it good, but I all that comes out of my mouth when I think back on my day is "good". Definitely a God-thing :) It is day three, and so far so good. I miss you, but I am okay. Now we have 700-some days to go...we can do this. lol. I went to C.A. with Mr. C today and I had a good time. We were sharing a really tiny table to study while talking about how the guy behind us was hogging two tables to himself. To our surprise, after a couple minutes into studying, that guy went out of his way to bring another table saying that he felt guilt that he was using two tables. What a nice guy lol.
We came home to a beautiful night view of a layer of clouds hovering over the rest of the city below us, with the moon half full and the stars shining. So beautiful. It's been a long time since I've seen so many stars in the night sky, despite the moon shining so brightly. The two factors made the sky twice as more gorgeous than usual, and I think this is one of the prettiest nights I've ever seen. Way to start off my night, or technically morning since its past 12 now. I miss you so much, and I wish you could be here to see all of this with me. Or maybe you're watching them right now too?
Today I went to orientation and it wasn't actually all that bad and it wasn't as long as I expected. I hate school, but all my teachers are really good this year so I'm kind of excited now. I got all my books and in a week, I start going to school. I've still got a few years of high school to go, and it's really depressing to think about.. While I was at orientation, it made me think of two things, are you going to come back as a serious christian? And do you still have Shirousa? lol I really want to ask D if you're planning to, or if you already are (two things I really doubt haha). If you aren't, good for you! :) But if you are, good for you! I got to say though, I'll really miss that side of you. Do you remember our talks on SMC? lol.
I actually just woke up from a nap, and I think it made me a little more tired.. donmai haha. I woke up to a beautiful cloudless sky about 73 degrees F. From the looks of it it doesn't seem like fall will be coming anytime soon. It's already september and still this hot? Is this right? Every year is so different, but that's what I love about here. But now I just want school to start and autumn to come. My summer break this year has been a little too long and I feel like I'm getting dumber by the day.. I'm so done with summer. Fall needs to come, like, NOW
It's been exactly one week since we were seperated. I miss you. How are you doing? What's on your mind lately? Do you miss me? I have so many questions I want to ask you, but since MD decided that we should keep an extreme distance from eachother for three years, those questions will have to wait.
I hope your week was good, because mine wasn't all that bad. The first three days were the hardest. It was like everyday I was being crushed, and I would wake up every morning dissappointed that it wasn't all just a bad dream, and that I wouldn't find good morning texts or calls from you anymore. I cried everyday, especially when I read the texts that I was supposed to delete. I would look for you on facebook to see how you're doing, knowing I wouldn't find you there anymore. I asked God why so many times. But at the same time, it was more painful because it was our fault for everything that was happening, and that we were only paying for the consequences. L explained to me that everything is for the best, even though it's hard right now and not easy to understand, that everything's in the long run, and it'll all be worth it in the end if we stay faithful to God. L's words, and God being with me gave me courage to stand back up again and keep on going. I'm okay now, I promise. Though things always don't go how I plan and it sucks sometimes, in the end, God keeps his promises, and it's all so worth it, so I'll be okay :)
I've decided to start this blog, to keep me busy besides school and to keep track of the next three years, i guess. And so that, in some way, I feel like I'm talking to you. First of all, good job! You said in one of your last texts that you might end up trying to txt or call me in like three days lol. But you didn't! So otsukaresama :) I really miss you though. I was with C and we saw you and Mr. D running together yesterday at church, it was really funny lol what were you guys even doing?? haha. Also, I'm sorry if you saw me cry yesterday, it's not what you think.
I know that everything is for the best, and that God is in control, and he's doing it for us because he knows what's best, and most of all, because he loves us. It sucks that we're not allowed to talk, text, skype, fb, or see eachother for three, it really does. But because of everything that has happened, a lot of good things happened too. I made up with Miss A and L once and for all, and they're both some of my very closest friends now. I'm pretty sure I have a better relationship with MD now, atleast I think. I haven't fought with them in a while, that's always good, right? I'm back on walking with God and because I went through this it reminded me that God is and will always be my number one. It's been a week and I'm able to smile and laugh now, and I'm finally able to listen to music again. But are you? Please know that I'm not smiling and laughing because I forgot you and the times we spent together, but because God helped me overcome the fears and pain. And I know for a fact that you can too, so don't give up! Because it's just the beginning
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